Saturday, March 3, 2012

Chapter 9ish: Leaving/What this guy wants.

Do you know what it's like to leave someone you care about? Maybe for a long period of time? It can be hard. The anticipation of leaving might be the worst part, knowing that you're about to leave, like the realization of an impending and inevitable demise. I think I found the best explanation on what it feels like:

"In the coming days and weeks[before he left], Laila would scramble frantically to commit it all to memory, what happened next. Like an art lover running out of a burning museum, she would grab whatever she could; a look, a whisper, a moan, to salvage from perishing, to preserve. But time is the most unforgiving of fires, and she couldn't, in the end, save it all."

This is from A Thousand Splendid Suns, by Khaled Hosseini. My friend Carly suggested this one to me yesterday. I read it on the way back to North Dakota. Very well written. 

Somehow it seems like I leave much more often than I come back.

I'm coming back this time.

 This is me being an adult.

This is me daydreaming about my dream girl.

On another note: 

We've been talking a lot about what women want and don't want.  I think it's fair for me to talk about the girl I want. 

The girl I want, first and foremost, is my closest friend. Somehow, she's able to get past all the B.S. I throw out, all the walls, all the emotional barriers.  I'm comfortable telling her the most personal things, or showing sides of me that absolutely no one else gets to see. 

She makes me want to be better. The best. My best.  She's not out to change me, but just being with her makes me want to change myself into who I think she deserves.  

She's driven. She has ambitions. She has hopes and dreams, and she is actively trying to achieve them.  Maybe she's pursuing a degree, or moving up the corporate ladder in some organization. But she wants to do things. She's not content with the un-examined life. 

She likes to help people. She wants to make the world a better place, and help others to live better lives. She realizes that life isn't just about her. 

She doesn't put up with my crap. When I do something stupid or ridiculous, she tells me. She's not intimidated by me.  If I push, she'll push back.  I love that. It might really irk me in the moment, but I need that. 

She loves to be in constant contact with me, physically. Holding hands, cuddling, whatever; always in close proximity.  This is HUGE for me. I'm just a touchy feely dude, I guess. 

She wants to be the mother of my kids. She'll be a great mom. It doesn't have to come naturally, but we'll learn together. 

Okay, here's probably the single most important one:

A lifetime with this girl is not going to be enough for me. I want it to be forever, and we'll make it that way. 

It's not till death do us part.  It's time and all eternity.

I'm a dark knight, on a dark horse, and I have a white castle. What cooler place to get married than in a white castle?

My parents, and my brother, had the right idea. 

These aren't all strict requirements, except the white castle.   
Besides, as I always say, 

Nobody's perfect...until you fall in love with them.

The Oilfield Romantic

I think I'm gonna go chop down a tree right now, and eat some red meat. I've been romantic too much this week. It's time to get back to work. 

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