Monday, February 13, 2012

Chapter 6: Crime and Punishment

Update on today: We went to Western Petroleum, had to battle to keep the chemical injector working, then once that was good, the burner went down again. I opened up the ignitor, and there were five wires loosely sitting in the housing. I have no idea how that could have possible happened. So, as the machine was running, I used a screwdriver to check and see if the sparker was working. It made a good arc on the screwdriver (luckily, the handle was insulated enough for it to not electrocute me to death). So, after beating my brains out for a few minutes, I just took some random wires, and wired them together.  I'm fairly good at deducting where things should go...and voila. It started right up. Hot water. For a while. It kept shutting off and I had to keep playing with it. I'm tired of things breaking down.

Crime and Punishment

The summer after my freshman year of high school, I was a lifeguard at the city pool.  Reed and I both worked there. It was a pretty chill summer job.  One day, a co-worker/buddy of ours, we'll call him Caleb (not his real name), was going to the lake to go jet skiing with some of his friends, and he had invited Reed to go with.  Technically, Reed had the second half of the day off, and I was supposed to work. But because I had taken his shift the day before, I kind of pushed him into staying at the pool while I went to the lake with Caleb.  So I went to the lake, not really expecting anything special.  I had never ridden a jet ski. It sounded like fun.

So we met his friends at Bottle Hollow reservoir. This is a small lake on the Ute Indian reservation, just east of Roosevelt, Utah. Bottle Hollow

We met a girl there that he was digging on. Her name was LeeNichole White. This is her real name. I don't think I can make one up for her. It just wouldn't work.

Lee was there with her family.  During the summer, they spend lots of time on the lake with the jet skis.  They were all very nice to me, and even gave me juice and snacks.

Well, when we first hopped out of the truck, we walked down the beach and she walked over to meet us.  She just sort of said hey to me over Caleb's shoulder. She was obviously entertained enough by him.

Back up-

I had known this girl my entire life. I had never personally met her before. But I knew exactly who she was.  If you've ever seen the movie "Mean Girls", I'm not sure which of the three she was.  At least, as long as I had been in school, this was basically the vibe she projected.  Super snob, stuck up, etc.

She was always this really tall, thin, pale, pretty eyed girl, who ran with the Dye'n to Dance group of girls. They all had these matching purple competition jackets that they even wore to school.

So I had never in my life spoken a word to this girl, not even when I was in 7th grade, when I ran with that whole group of girls (they were all in 8th grade, I was just cool).  For some reason, we had never crossed paths. That was all gonna change. Drastically.

Okay, so I show up to this beach, here's this girl who I've sort of secretly hated my whole life (not personally, but just whatever it was she represented).  At some point in the day, after some wake boarders had yelled at me for messing up the water, and I had parked just to chill out for a bit, we ended up sitting in close proximity on the beach.

She asked me, "Having fun?", in a small-talk sort of way. Not in a way that said she actually cared at all, we were just kind of sitting alone on the beach and it might have been more awkward to say nothing.

I told her, "I just got yelled at by those douche-bag wake boarders. Otherwise, yeah." I was wearing sunglasses, and I didn't actually look at her.

She explained how the wake boarders always thought that they owned the lake, and that I shouldn't pay attention to them.

"Did I see you in the Mr. UBIC thing?" I asked her. I suddenly realized that I had seen her in the first production number.

 UBIC has come to represent "Uintah Basin in Celebration", although it was originally "Uinta Basin Irrigation Cooperative", where a bunch of old farmers would get together back in the day and talk about water issues. It turned into just a big annual party/festival with parades, and live music, and baseball games, etc. The thing lasts a whole week now. Well, there's also a "Miss UBIC" pageant. Just for fun, at some point, someone came up with a "Mr. UBIC" pageant. It's a cheaper, more fun version of the thing where guys get to make fools of themselves. Always entertaining.

The theme was"Surfing USA" or the likes. Reed volunteered to be in the competition.  I remember going to it and seeing Lee in the opening number.  She didn't really stand out, per se, but I remember it even to this day.

The opening number was "I wish they all could be California girls" by the Beach Boys.  A different girl would walk out for each girl across the country, i.e. Midwest Farmer's daughter, Northern Girls, Southern girls, and East Coast girls. Lee was the East Coast Girl.  I don't know how, but somehow I'm remembering all of this from when I was 15.

Anyway, I'm on the beach. I ask her about that, and I realize it was her in the number.  "The east coast girls are hip, I really dig those styles they wear..." I sort of sang to her, teasingly.

We hit it off.  We have been the best of friends ever since.  The end.

Wait, wait, wait.  Okay, not the end.  There are 7 or 8 consequent years worth of juicy stories after this day.
At one point, I was sort of "dating" a different girl for like, several months. That one is entre parenthesis because I don't think it counts. She was barely 16, and I was an idiot.  It was mostly, I liked Haylee (that sounds like a good fake name), Lee liked me, and Lee and Haylee are first cousins.

I spent so much time with them both individually, that people would ask me which of the two girls was my girlfriend.  I would jokingly say "Both of them, but they don't know it."  I was setting myself up for a problem.

One time, they both went to a big family gathering for memorial day I think, both wearing one of my sweaters.  I bet they felt really ridiculous.  I'm glad I wasn't there for that one.

Anyway, this is where we get into the story of my first kiss. I was 17. I liked Haylee, Lee liked me.   For some reason, I was way stuck on Haylee, when I really should have just been with Lee. We were best friends, we had chemistry, we were always there for each other, and it would have been perfect. I was just too stupid to realize it. Maybe to prideful. I don't know what my problem was, really.

Wait....I remember what my problem was.

Lee's long long list of boyfriends, none of which lasted for more than a few weeks, was full of low life, smoker, drug addict, drop-out, mouth breathing morons.  I wouldn't let my good name be a part of that list. That was my problem. Also, I had never kissed a girl.  Mind you, I was 17 years old, and as a romantic, I wanted it to be special.  I didn't want it to disappear in a long list of guys some girl has made out with and forgotten. I wanted it to mean something.  That's the other problem I had with Lee. And no, in the two or so years I had known her up until this point, we had never locked lips. Not. Once.

So, being the genius I am, and we're talking about fall 2005 I want to say... I ask Lee to go see a movie. Somehow, I also asked Haylee to the same movie. It ended up being the three of us at the movies. I like Haylee, Lee likes me, and this is now really weird. Yes, I know, I wish I could go back and punch myself in the face.

This whole night ended with a huge fight between Lee and I.  I dropped her off at her house, she slammed my car door, and stormed into her house. Then I dropped off Haylee. Then I went home feeling like an idiot, for good reason.

The next morning, I was supposed to go into the shop (Classic Lube in Roosevelt) for work.  I think I was supposed to be there at about 8:00.  I left early to make a quick stop at Lee's house to try to apologize for being an asinine the previous night.  I walked right into her house, as always, walked down the hallway to her room, and woke her up.  She was always so cute when she was just waking up.  I sat down on her ed next to her, and apologized for the night before. I think that although she was probably still pissed off about what I had done, seeing me when she woke up probably made her day. We didn't say much. But at some point, she grabbed me by the collar, pulled me down and kissed me.

I don't think I had ever been so scared in my life. I remember shivering like a wet dog. My head was spinning. I think I would have enjoyed it more had I expected it. But thinking back on it, I wouldn't change a thing.  Remembering it always makes me smile.

So, I was kinda/sorta going out with Haylee at this time.  I was setting myself up for a problem.

We're going to take a break here. It's Monday night, and I have FHE with my Mormon peeps.

I'll finish this later. Text me and let me know if this was mildly entertaining. 720-441-7651.


  1. Mildly entertaining (fo sho) ;)
    (Texting that is probably a moot point now, lol)

    1. Wait...who are you, E, exactly? And thanks for reading!

  2. Dude I am loving hearing how this all really went down.. I think haylee is very appropriate as well.. I can remember lee talking to me on msn about all this drama with you and "haylee" ha.. Hey lee?